Mon Agent IA
découvrez comment la politesse influence nos interactions avec les intelligences artificielles. cette exploration met en lumière les effets de la courtoisie sur nos échanges, ainsi que les implications éthiques et sociales d'une communication respectueuse avec ces technologies avancées.

The impact of politeness towards artificial intelligence: an exploration of our interactions

Agent Olivier
May 16, 2025

In an era where conversations with artificial intelligence (AI) like ChatGPT, Siri, or Alexa have become commonplace, an intriguing question arises: why do many users feel the need to be polite in their interactions with these machines? What does this dynamic reveal about our relationship with technology and our behavior as users? In this article, we delve into the heart of this fascinating interconnection between politeness and interactions with conversational agents. Through studies, testimonials, and ethical reflections, we will examine this phenomenon and its implications for the human relationship with technology.

Politeness: A Human Reflex in the Face of Technology

When Pauline Blanquet, 25, expresses her discomfort at the idea of ​​not saying “please” to ChatGPT, she illustrates an increasingly widespread behavior. Indeed, a 2019 study by the Pew Research Center revealed that 54% of smart speaker users in the United States exhibited this courtesy reflex. More recently, a survey by the Future Group even found that 67% of Americans behaved politely toward chatbots. Who would have thought that machines, devoid of feelings, could foster such social norms?

Human Behavior and Anthropomorphism

The phenomenon of politeness toward technological tools does not appear to be a mere whim. Two Stanford researchers, Clifford Nass and Byron Reeves, demonstrated in 1996 that humans tend to treat devices that mimic social behaviors as human entities. This observation was reinforced by the observation of sociologist Valérie Beaudouin, who explains this phenomenon through the nature of the interactions. Indeed, when these AIs initiate conversations politely (“Hello, what can I do for you?”), this encourages users to respond in a similar manner, thus respecting the norms of human communication.

The Social Norm and Its Implications

Politeness, in this context, is not only a matter of good manners; it is also a way of integrating oneself into a social dialogue. By addressing an AI, users align themselves with a set of implicit rules sharing a vision of mutual respect. This reflects our desire for harmony in exchanges and our integration into a growing technological society. Why do we feel the need to be polite to AI?

  • Does this politeness influence how we behave in other contexts?
  • Should AI be designed to encourage civility?
  • The Ethical Issues of Politeness Towards Artificial Intelligence

The question of politeness with AI raises important ethical issues. If users feel compelled to interact courteously, this raises several questions about our relationship with these technologies. A key aspect is determining whether this humble and respectful behavior is truly appropriate and beneficial.

A politeness that could backfire

A growing body of research highlights that politeness toward AI could lead to costs, both environmental and financial. Indeed, some researchers, such as Cédric Villani, express concern about the impact of this attitude on the effectiveness of AI systems. Studies show that machine learning can be influenced by our polite behavior. Thus, our compassionate interactions require considerable energy resources, exacerbating the environmental challenges associated with the technology. Excessive politeness could therefore have unintended consequences for society.

Respect: A Double-Edged Sword

The consequences of this behavior go beyond simple politeness. By behaving as if AI has emotions or rights, we risk distorting our own understanding of human relationships. This illusory respect can lead to unrealistic expectations of machines and alter our perceptions of human intelligence. Instead of fostering our empathy, this politeness can sometimes lead to distancing behavior, thus harming our personal interactions. Advantages of Being Polite Towards AI

Disadvantages of Being Polite Towards AI

Improved User Experience Increased Energy Consumption and Environmental Impact
Creation of a Respectful Environment Distorted Perception of Human Relationships
Encouragement of Positive Communication Unrealistic Expectations of Artificial Intelligence
When Society Shapes Its Tools The challenges posed by politeness toward AI reveal how society shapes technology according to its own values ​​and behaviors. In 2025, with the rise of AI, it has become clear that standards of online courtesy toward these machines can trigger major changes in the way technology is designed and developed.

The Design of Artificial Intelligence

Tech companies, such as OpenAI and Google, are realizing the importance of integrating elements of politeness into the design of their AIs. For example, designing more empathetic dialogues contributes to a better user experience while mitigating the risk of misunderstanding.

The Future of Communication and Human Relationships with Technology

In the future, our interactions with AIs could become increasingly human. This development could transform not only the technological landscape but also shape our perception of what it means to be courteous, even in a virtual context.

Should designers prioritize civility in AI? How do social norms influence technology design?

Will this change the way we interact in our daily lives?

  • Meaningful Interactions and Mutual Respect
  • Ultimately, interacting with artificial intelligence should not be limited to politeness, but must also be part of a broader discussion on respect and empathy. How can we foster constructive and meaningful dialogue that transcends mere courtesies?
  • Building Human Relationships Around AI

The challenge is to navigate a world where AIs occupy a prominent place while preserving the essence of human communication. This respect can take different forms, including:

Educating users about the capabilities and limitations of AI.

Foster a dialogue that respects the diversity of opinions.

Encourage developers to create more inclusive and empathetic AI.

  • Envision an ethical future with AI
  • It is imperative to approach the future of artificial intelligence with a critical eye. As we move toward this technological world, it is essential to question our values ​​and behaviors toward these tools. How can we ensure that our interactions with AI remain dignified and respectful, while avoiding the tendency to anthropomorphize machines?
  • AI-Friendly Practices

Associated Risks

Incorporating Ethical Values ​​into Design

Excessive Anthropomorphism and Distortion of Human Interactions Education on AI Capabilities
Overestimating an AI’s Skills Open Dialogue on Expectations of AI
Frustrations Due to Unrealistic Expectations In short, politeness and the way we interact with artificial intelligence reveal not only our social behaviors but also our moral responsibilities toward these technologies that shape our lives. As we continue to explore the limits of communication through these agents, it is crucial to maintain a balance between respect, ethics, and authenticity in our relationships with technology.